Hashems Way Vs Sodomdoxy
The Torah in Breisheet (Genesis) 18:19 explains why Hashem chose Avraham Aveinu — because Avraham Aveinu would command his children to keep the Way of Hashem, IE to perform tsedaka u'mishpat (charity and justice).
In utter contrast to the Way of Hashem is the Way of Sodom, IE a society based on cruelty and injustice and lacking in tsedeka u'mishpat. "The cry of Sodom is so great, and their sin is so very grave." (Breisheet 18:20). As Ramban explains, "This is crying out of the oppressed people who cry and plead because of the brutality of the wicked". The Talmud Sanhedrin 109 describes how the depraved Sodomites tortured a young girl to death for having given bread to a stranger, something illegal in Sodom.
"Sodom-doxy" refers to the Way of Sodom concealed with a thin facade of fake "Judaism". In the vicious divorce conflicts being played out in Israel and many Western countries today, we are seeing echos of the injustices and wickedness of Sodom. Destroying families unnecessarily, destroying fathers, and alienating children from their parents are not the ways of Hashem and Avraham Aveinu. Decent Jewish fathers who are conducting divorce processes according to halacha are often becoming victims of fraudulent "seruvim", Internet witch hunts, defamation and being banned from shuls, and being ejected from their homes and/or incarcerated after their wives filed false domestic violence charges. Jewish children are being intentionally alienated from their parents in many divorce cases. Some Jewish fathers in divorce conflicts are actually committing suicide but this is not usually being reported in the Jewish media.
The Torah and not feminist ideology must define if and when any Jewish spouse is obligated to accept divorce. A corrupt divorce on demand culture and mentality has been imported directly into the frum communities from the non-Jewish society. This divorce on demand culture has caused enormous damage to non-Jewish society, and is now wreaking havoc on many Orthodox communities. Too many Jewish spouses in various communities are demanding divorces that they are not entitled to under normative Jewish halacha.
No one should refuse a Get for purposes of tormenting or abusing their spouse, but the slogan "Get refusal is always abuse" is simply deceptive propaganda. In many divorce situations, it is a gross injustice to mindlessly label a husband or wife as a malicious Get refuser. A man or woman may have a halachic right to decline divorce and may seek to continue their marriage. In other cases, normative halacha opposes performing a Get until a full divorce settlement has been completed. In other cases, the husband is prevented from delivering a forced, invalid Get by the coercive tactics of the same agunah feminists who are pretending to be rescuing the wife!
Arbitrary divorce on demand is simply not allowed in halachic Judaism, regardless of the misinformation spewed in the media today. The rabbinic sages demonstrated their wisdom when they prohibited forced divorce due to suspicion that a Jewish spouse demanding divorce had "cast their eyes on another person": “The SHULCHAN ARUCH (EH 77:2) rules that if the woman who rebels is ready to get divorced and to forgo her Kesuvah, she cannot force the husband to divorce her (the opinion of Rabeinu Tam). If he wants to divorce her, he may divorce her right away.” http://dafyomi.co.il/kesuvos/insites/ks-dt-063.htm
Certain Jews are litigating divorce matters in civil courts without authorization from any halachic, non-feminist rabbinic court. These Jews are often being enabled and supported by various feminist organizations and rabbis. Yet Shulchan Aruch, Choshen Mishpat, Chpt. 26 rules that litigating against other Jews in civil courts is prohibited and those who do so are considered as wicked persons who blasphemed against the Torah. https://www.sefaria.org/Shulchan_Arukh%2C_Choshen_Mishpat.26.1?lang=en&with=all&lang2=en
In halacha there is no “imputed income” and no debtor's prison for impoverished Jewish men who are unable to pay child support. In a Facebook Jewish singles group, a “frum” woman in the NYC area boasted about how her husband is sitting in jail for allegedly refusing to pay child support. The woman proudly posted a photo that shows her husband's incarceration details in a county jail, and she then commented “This is where he belongs!”. It appears that many Jewish men have suffered the fate of that woman's husband. Jailing impoverished men for inability to pay child support, instead of helping them obtain employment, is an example of the cruel, depraved Way of Sodom!
Various Jewish feminist and “agunah” organizations operate today with large budgets and staffs, and are given red carpet treatment in the Jewish media. Today we have activist feminist “rabbis” in many communities, who stealthily provide heterim to Orthodox women to sue their husbands in civil courts, have them removed from their homes, and withhold their children from them. These “rabbis” then rail from their bully pulpits about alleged injustices suffered by fake “agunos”, and apply community sanctions to the men who were victims of mesirah. This is a travesty of injustice as halacha requires sanctions to be applied to the perpetrators of mesirah, not the victims.
In many cases decent Jewish men are being harassed by "Orthodox" agunot activists even if no halachic Bais Din ruled that the men are chayav l’garesh, ie required to divorce their wives. Militant feminist gangs such as the “Open Orthodox” ORA organization (Organization for the Resolution of Agunot) and its rabbis and supporters seem to provide unqualified support to women based solely on the women's gender, and without any scrutiny of the women's conduct in the divorce process. The depraved practices of ORA and other feminist groups are severe Torah violations, such as: enabling women to obtain coerced, invalid Gittin; assisting women who moser their husbands in non-Jewish courts; assisting women who alienate children from their fathers; conducting a vicious campaign of defamation and persecution against Jewish fathers who are complying with halacha.
I believe an article on the Daat Torah blog sums things up well: “...fake Agunot are in reality mentored and guided by ORA to withhold negotiations with their husbands or only negotiate terms that are 100% favorable to them, thereby causing no movement in negotiating an end, and thereby extending the fake aguna status to 10+ years in many cases. They can then claim to the public that they have an “Aguna Crisis” and raise more money for their cause.” http://daattorah.blogspot.com/2016/02/rav-gestetner-criticizes-ora.html
The Torah tells us that the wicked townspeople of Sodom surrounded Lot's house and shouted to him “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, so that we may know them.” (Genesis 19:5). The militant "agunah activists" in our day also surround the houses of Jewish men (who are likely in compliance with halacha) during aggressive protests to shout out to the men and harass them until they will submit to their wives' demands.
Reports of high-profile divorce cases in the Jewish media often employ blatant anti-male distortions of the facts while publicly denigrating the Jewish husband. These media reports frequently ignore any evidence that the husband is in compliance with halacha, while ignoring any misconduct by the wife and avoiding any discussions of the substantial facts of the divorce case. Public lists of alleged "Get refusers" almost never include any women. It seems quite rare that any "seruvim" (rabbinic contempt orders), and/or public shaming and/or protests are ever directed towards female halacha violators.
Honest Discussions Needed
Today there are very few honest, gender neutral, public discussions of authentic Jewish divorce issues such as: women maliciously refusing Gittin; invalid Gittin forced by feminist activists; large numbers of unnecessary divorces; mesirah of Jewish fathers in family courts, children deprived of fathers, etc. Even as the "Orthodox" community wrings its hands over an alleged "agunot crisis", there is hardly any serious discussion of the immense damage to Jewish children caused by a "dad deprivation" divorce culture. https://video.foxnews.com/v/6002620929001/#sp=show-clips
Any Jews who dare to discuss these issues in public are often subjected to a vile torrent of abuse, insults, defamation, and obscenities by "Orthodox" feminists who usually avoid making any responses addressing the issues. Such tactics are frequently employed by the same Jewish feminists who are constantly decrying the alleged abuse of women.
Those who seek to follow Hashem's Torah should embrace the ways of tsedaka u'mishpat, and reject Sodom-doxy. To alleviate the present Jewish divorce crisis requires a change in paradigm in the Jewish communities away from a gender biased feminist approach. Halachic rights for men must be equally respected as halachic rights for women. The voices of victimized Jewish men need to be also heard in the Jewish media. The Jewish public must avoid mindlessly engaging themselves on behalf of spouses in divorce conflicts based solely on the spouses' gender. Women who violate halacha should be subjected to the same "seruvim", public shaming, and public banning that male halacha violators are subject to.
Authentic Torah practices must be restored including: emphasizing marriage preservation and preventing unnecessary divorces; rejecting divorce on demand and forced Gittin; rejecting pro-divorce prenups/postnups; ceasing persecution of Jewish fathers and promoting divorce litigation in Batei Din instead of civil courts. When divorce truly must occur, we must prevent parental alienation and ensure that children have a continuing healthy relationship with both parents. Decent Jewish women who believe they must divorce must insist on custody arrangements that allow their children to have significant relationships with their fathers. These Torah practices benefit everyone involved, including women, and help to insure survival of the Jewish family.